I am now reevaluating that...
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I moved into my apartment on Thursday, July 23rd. I immediately noticed I was not able to access the internet...or use the phone in my room (which is supposed to be for University Housing purposes...but I want it to hook TiVo up to) as the jacks were not working properly. I immediately told my supervisor's supervisor so the problem would be fixed immediately. He requested a work order for the problem to be resolved. Two weeks go by and still no internet or phone. I am starting to get upset I do not have these necessities (being the internet...and tivo). I decide to take matters into my own hands and give the maintenance staff a call "Hi, This is Josh McKenzie the Columbia Hall ARLC. I am calling to check on the status off my work order.....oh, you'll send someone up there immediately?....Thanks." I get to my room later that day after the worker has come and gone- which I am able conclude based on the door hanger on my door knob that says "We've Been Here!" The hanger says the problem has been fixed and lists what has been wrong with the jacks causing me to have no access to the outside world from my computer for 2 weeks. What is written under this portion you might ask? It reads, "Your phone was plugged into the internet jack." A mere two weeks earlier, at the beginning of this debacle, I scoffed at one of my friends who asked if the cords were plugged into the right jacks. "I'm not stupid," I quickly snapped.
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So I have decided to be adventurous and register for a little something something called the Mudrun, sponsored by the United States Marine Corp. Notice who it is sponsored by again. I have signed a death sentence. I was randomly thrown on a team last weekend (a team consists of four people...3 other friends from the program)...just in time to prepare for the race on September 19. The mudrun is 4.2 miles of treacherous terrain, obstacles, and pure insanity. Just to get an idea of what this little thing I am attempting to train for is, the course description is below. You may cry for me.
The obstacles in the USMC Ultimate Mud Run are named for battles, places and items that are significant in Marine Corps history and lore. Distances are approximate since the route of the course may be changed slightly from year to year.
Start - 0.15 mi of flat, open terrain
1- Belleau Wood- 0.46 mi wooded terrain, with 3 sets of 6-10' rolling hills, 2 sets of "stairway to heaven" ladder climbs, and five 6-9' drop offs.
The Marines were first called Devil Dog (Teufelshunde) by the German soldiers of WWI, during the Battle of Belleau Wood in 1918. It is also where Dan Daly made his now-famous battle cry, "Come on, you sons of bitches, do you want to live forever?" Sergeant Major Daly is one of only two Marines to receive the Medal of Honor for two separate acts of heroism (Major General Smedley Butler is the other).
2- Mt. Suribachi- 45% incline, 90' long.
Mt. Suribachi, on Iwo Jima, is where AP photographer, Joe Rosenthal, took one of the most famous photographs of WWII. The photo of 5 Marines and a Navy Corpsman raising the U.S. flag was taken atop Mt. Suribachi on 23 February 1945.
Funchilin Pass (includes obstacles 3, 4, 5, & 6- 0.75 mi of wooded terrain, 10 culvert obstacles, 2 sets of "stairway to heaven" ladder climbs, 7-15' high, mud hole with fallen log obstacles.
Funchilin Pass is a 4,000' high pass, which was held by Colonel Chesty Puller and his Marines, during the Battle of the Chosin Reservoir (known as the "Frozen Chosin" for the extreme cold) during the Korean War.
7- Water obstacle with fallen logs- logs over water hole, participants go under logs.
Bunker Hill (includes obstacles 8 & 9- 0.17 mi, 20% incline with 9 plateaus (#8), 3 sets of culverts (#9).
The Battle of Bunker Hill took place on 17 June 1775 as part of the Siege of Boston, during the American Revolutionary War. It is where Colonel William Prescott is known as the officer who said, "Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes!"
10- Heartbreak Ridge- 0.27 mi. ridge terrain, 5 sets of 6-8' zigzag ridge crossings.
Heartbreak Ridge is a fictional movie about Marine Gunnery Sergeant Highway (played by Clint Eastwood). The actual Battle of Heartbreak Ridge was fought during the Korean War by the Army's 2nd Infantry Division.
A Shau Valley (includes obstacles 11, 12 & 13)- 0.40 mi open terrain leading into wooded terrain, water filled "rice paddy" (#11), Hamburger Hill water hole (up to 5' deep) with dirt mounds leading in to and out of (#12), Light Armored Vehicle Trench (LAVs straddle 3' wide trench filled with water, participants crawl through the trench, under the LAVs) (#13).
The narrow, 25 mile long, A Shau Valley was one of the strategic focal points of the war in Vietnam. It was an arm of the Ho Chi Minh trail, funneling troops and supplies toward Hue and Da Nang. It was the sight of many fierce battles, including one of the bloodiest, which was the fight for Hill 937. To those that fought there, it was known as "Hamburger Hill." The LAV is the armored fighting vehicle around which a Marine Corps Light Armored Reconnaissance (LAR) Battalion is built. Fox Company is part of the 4th LAR Bn., 4th Mar Div (Marine Division).
Ho Chi Minh Trail (obstacles 14-21- 1 mi, wooded terrain, "Monkey Bridge" (#14), mud pit with rope wall (#15), rope swing (#16), log crossing (#17), culverts (#18), 10' vertical walls (#19), cargo net climb (#20), culverts (#21).
The Ho Chi Minh Trail was a complex web of different jungle paths that enabled communist troops and supplies to be moved from North Vietnam to areas close to Saigon. It was the most vital supply line for the Communist forces and was, therefore, of vital strategic importance. Many U.S. servicemen from all branches fought, bled and died there.
22- "Heartattack Hill"- 0.25 mi, 30% incline
23- Rice Paddy- water filled
24- Perfume River- 40' low crawl/swim covered with cammie netting, dirt mound leading in to and out of.
The Perfume River (called Huong River in Vietnam) is a 30 km long river leading to the c ity of Hue, in the central Vietnamese province of Thua Thiên Hue.
25- Hellfire Valley- 5 hills (8-15')
Hellfire Valley was a strategic battle during the Korean War.
26- Pusan Perimeter- "Z" shaped trench, varying depth, water filled
The Battle of the Pusan Perimeter, during the Korean War, was a textbook example of teamwork and its use in infantry tactics. It is still used as a case study today.
27- 10 Log Hole- water hole, with 10 fallen logs, must be negotiated in an over/under manner.
28- Rice Paddy & Low Crawl- 24' Rice Paddy, 24' low crawl covered in "cammie netting"
Rice Paddies dotted the landscape of Vietnam, making the movement of men and material difficult. The Low Crawl is a tactic used for movement under enemy fire.
29- Litter Carry- 100 yards, Three team members carry the fourth team member on a stretcher over the FINISH line.
U.S. Navy Corpsmen are non-combatant combat medics that risk their lives to save the lives of injured Marines. They have been in every battle in which Marines have fought since 1814.
Finish
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My Supervisor: "I like your haircut. You look like a commercial."
Me: "Commercial? What commercial?"
Supervisor: "A peanut butter & jelly commercial."
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Fitting everything into my new "apartment" is eerily reminiscent to a can of sardines...better yet, a jar of pickles. Pickles are packed way tighter than sardines; why isn't the saying "They're packed in there like pickles." What I'm trying to say is the "apartment" is a tight fit.
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So last weekend was my final weekend in the metropolis of Statesboro, GA. I do not want to say tears were shed...but then I would be lying. The tears, however, were not my own. Let me start at the beginning.
OK, well not the very beginning as that would be much to long of a post for you to read. Last Friday was the final SOAR session. Now this little shin dig was only a one-day orientation since it was only for our lovely transfer students. This was a sad, sad day for us all. The day carried on as usual, with parents bringing all kinds of crazy with their questions until approximately 10:58 am. One of the orientation leaders had been "accused" of "dirty rushing" an organization in which he is president. Another complaint was submitted at 10:57 that day. Being the budding young professional that I am, I decided to lay aside my fear of confrontation and take the bull by the horns (and by bull I mean the 20 year old human male). I marched up the grandeur staircase of the student union building toward the guilty party. Aha! I caught him red handed, in the act of "recruiting." I pulled him aside and told him that we were taking a walk. I ask him about his desire to make friends for his organization and why he's breaking the SOAR laws etc etc. Now, we are entering the portion of the story that you must brace yourself for.
Another reason I needed to have a nice lil chit chat with this dude is because he had, for some unearthly reason, decided to tell some other orientation leaders he had a conversation with me where I blatantly told him I hated him. Now I know I am finally moving out of my "fear of confrontation" stage...but I have not moved that far...and thats just downright mean. As we all know, I have a horrible memory. I turned to the overactive leader and stated "Now, you know I have a horrible memory so please remind me when we had a conversation where I, in fact, told you I hated you." He dramatically gasped and said, "We never had that conversation!" "I know," I replied. "I know we never had that conversation, so my question concerns why you are spreading that to other leaders?" This is the point of the story where I refer back to my opening sentences concerning the crying. Again, it was not me who cried that day, it was him. Yes, I, Josh McKenzie, made a person cry. I try to hold back my intimidating demeanor for most interactions, but for this scenario (apparently) just color me green and call me Hulk. If the conversation wasn't awkward enough before with just the whole confrontation, it is even more awk while I still have to lay down some good ole discipline while looking into the eyes of a sobbing college male. I have decided he cried on his own right by stirring up his own emotions during our chat....that does not change the fact, however, that I made a leader cry during our final session. The tears that streamed from his face must have also clogged his ears, because I soon as I return from lunch after that little fun party I hear what he has told everyone else I said to him. Needless to say, our convo about not making up conversations with me and spreading them to the team did not pan out that great.
That night was the closing SOAR banquet. Everyone was dressed to the 9's (apparently I am a 62 year-old man). We ate some din din, gave some awards (I got Best Facial Expressions?), and got presents! One of the presents I got from the staff was a huge board made to look like a Twitter page, filled with comments by ever leader: so cool! Story after story is told and voila, the banquet that started at 6:30 ended at 4am. In short, it was a great way to end an even better summer! (minus the whole crying scenario)
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So, I recently received one of the thousand daily emails over the NODA listserv (National Orientation Directors Assoc). The particular one I am referring to was from a Ms. Samantha Hartlen. Now my little brain starts to church, as I believe this name sounds extremely familiar. Of course to check my possible relationship status with this lady I head straight to the wonderful world of Facebook. I quickly type in the name and up pops a return. A graduate of Suffolk University. I think to myself, "Wait, I think I know..." I click on her profile picture to gain confirmation of how I know this woman. Her face pops up and my confirmation is received. This is, in fact, the girl I was talking with during our GA Recruiting weekend when my gum magically fell out of my mouth in mid-conversation and onto her shoe. Did I mention this was the very first event the potential students attend during the recruiting weekend? I am glad this memory came rushing back as I am now even more excited to get back to South Carolina and greet her with open arms in the coming weeks...
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"How did it get so late so soon? It's night before it's afternoon. December is here before it is June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?"
-Dr. Seuss
Tomorrow is the last SOAR session of the summer (one day transfer session). Man, how did the past 11 weeks fly by so quickly?? Its my last weekend in Statesboro before I leave sometime next week.
