The Life of Forrest Gump

OK, well not the very beginning as that would be much to long of a post for you to read. Last Friday was the final SOAR session. Now this little shin dig was only a one-day orientation since it was only for our lovely transfer students. This was a sad, sad day for us all. The day carried on as usual, with parents bringing all kinds of crazy with their questions until approximately 10:58 am. One of the orientation leaders had been "accused" of "dirty rushing" an organization in which he is president. Another complaint was submitted at 10:57 that day. Being the budding young professional that I am, I decided to lay aside my fear of confrontation and take the bull by the horns (and by bull I mean the 20 year old human male). I marched up the grandeur staircase of the student union building toward the guilty party. Aha! I caught him red handed, in the act of "recruiting." I pulled him aside and told him that we were taking a walk. I ask him about his desire to make friends for his organization and why he's breaking the SOAR laws etc etc. Now, we are entering the portion of the story that you must brace yourself for.

Another reason I needed to have a nice lil chit chat with this dude is because he had, for some unearthly reason, decided to tell some other orientation leaders he had a conversation with me where I blatantly told him I hated him. Now I know I am finally moving out of my "fear of confrontation" stage...but I have not moved that far...and thats just downright mean. As we all know, I have a horrible memory. I turned to the overactive leader and stated "Now, you know I have a horrible memory so please remind me when we had a conversation where I, in fact, told you I hated you." He dramatically gasped and said, "We never had that conversation!" "I know," I replied. "I know we never had that conversation, so my question concerns why you are spreading that to other leaders?" This is the point of the story where I refer back to my opening sentences concerning the crying. Again, it was not me who cried that day, it was him. Yes, I, Josh McKenzie, made a person cry. I try to hold back my intimidating demeanor for most interactions, but for this scenario (apparently) just color me green and call me Hulk. If the conversation wasn't awkward enough before with just the whole confrontation, it is even more awk while I still have to lay down some good ole discipline while looking into the eyes of a sobbing college male. I have decided he cried on his own right by stirring up his own emotions during our chat....that does not change the fact, however, that I made a leader cry during our final session. The tears that streamed from his face must have also clogged his ears, because I soon as I return from lunch after that little fun party I hear what he has told everyone else I said to him. Needless to say, our convo about not making up conversations with me and spreading them to the team did not pan out that great.

That night was the closing SOAR banquet. Everyone was dressed to the 9's (apparently I am a 62 year-old man). We ate some din din, gave some awards (I got Best Facial Expressions?), and got presents! One of the presents I got from the staff was a huge board made to look like a Twitter page, filled with comments by ever leader: so cool! Story after story is told and voila, the banquet that started at 6:30 ended at 4am. In short, it was a great way to end an even better summer! (minus the whole crying scenario)

So, I recently received one of the thousand daily emails over the NODA listserv (National Orientation Directors Assoc). The particular one I am referring to was from a Ms. Samantha Hartlen. Now my little brain starts to church, as I believe this name sounds extremely familiar. Of course to check my possible relationship status with this lady I head straight to the wonderful world of Facebook. I quickly type in the name and up pops a return. A graduate of Suffolk University. I think to myself, "Wait, I think I know..." I click on her profile picture to gain confirmation of how I know this woman. Her face pops up and my confirmation is received. This is, in fact, the girl I was talking with during our GA Recruiting weekend when my gum magically fell out of my mouth in mid-conversation and onto her shoe. Did I mention this was the very first event the potential students attend during the recruiting weekend? I am glad this memory came rushing back as I am now even more excited to get back to South Carolina and greet her with open arms in the coming weeks...

SOAR LEADER: He just turned 23, ma'am.

PARENT: OH......he looks 12.

SOAR LEADER: Don't tell him that. We don't want him getting a big head.

PARENT: Oh no, I really mean it! (pause) Actually, you do have a big head.