So, this summer I am interning with orientation at Georgia Southern University in the metropolis of Statesboro, GA. I have had the privelege of major professional development experiences over the past seven weeks- I categorize it as professional development because I wear a suit a lot, and that makes me look pretty important (and just down right snazzy). Tell me who else can answer questions about who knows what to a university I have been at for approx 2 weeks (at the beginning of the orientation sessions) while hustling across the gorgeous south Georgia weather of 116 degrees (heat index)? Well let me raise two thumbs, because that's this guy. Ok, so now to my real story...
Last week was a special orientation for a certain population of student (I will not explain the population because I don't want you to have to slave over reading this. You're welcome.)...needless to say, we had 1200 students and parents for the Friday-Saturday session. On Thursday, we opened the Rec center for all of our little peeps to come check-in with us at the front of the building, then move to another part of the building to pick up housing keys, make their IDs, fin aid, blah blah blah. Well, at approx 4:27 pm, a mother and daughter duo walk into our lavish recreational activity center (that is not sarcasm, btw- its a pretty sweet set-up) to check-in for SOAR. With an aura of excitment and a giddy pep in her step the daughter proceeds to the back of the building to our other services. The mom, however, turns around to walk back out of the building toward the parking lot. Let me tell you my placement during this series of events: front and center gretting people as they enter. The mother re-enters the building rushing back to meet her daughter as she is carrying a hamster cage. No, you did not read the incorrectly, I infact did say she was carrying a hamster cage. And not just a dingy one at that, it was the Deluxe version with tunnels, wheels, a nice little pent house sitting on top...the whole shebang basically. One of the professionals walked up to the mother to hault her from moving any farther into the building. "Excuse me ma'am...no animals are allowed inside the building." The mother says she did not want to leave them in the weather (I am not sure why as it was only 101 degrees at the time). As if it were completely normal that she brought a hamster cage (with live hamsters in it) to orientation, the professional told the woman to lay the cage on a table in the front and to retrieve it after her and her daughter were finished with all the good stuff in the back. Once the woman walked away from the area, my supervisor became extremely excited to go look at the 2 hamsters. She runs over to see them run in their tunnels and what have you. After approximately 15 seconds, she looks up from the cage to announce that the hamsters were, in fact, dead. Both hamsters...not a single breath left in their little lungs. She has someone come over to confirm. They really are two dead hamsters in the middle of the cage. Now I was told rigamortas had not set-in at this point...but who knows.
Well, this information leaks to all of the orientation leaders that are present at the time. Most of them look and gasp, a few laugh (at this point I am uncontrollably laughing...crying laughing), while one of our leaders had started to cry. She's just a sweet lil girl. So the mother daughter duo finally come back to the front of the building after what seems like an eternity. Everyone has scampered away from the lobby area as they do not want to be blamed for the death of two adorable (sarcasm, btw) hamsters. The daughter immediately notices her pets have kicked the can....and our orientation leader that was crying earlier..well she is now sobbing, with mascera running down her face. Needless to say she was hiding on the other side of a wall so she would not be noticed. I am intentionally standing on the opposite side of a rather large column crying...not from sadness, but from laughter due to the ridiculousness of the entire event. The family leaves...with a little less pep in their step than when they entered.
You think the story ends there, well it doesn't. There is a prequel you should also know about. Your thoughts are the hamsters died of heat exhaustion since they were left inside of a car for 10ish minutes in 100+ degree heat, right? Well, you are wrong. I find out the next day the real reason they most likely died. The van the hamster-killing duo rode in on the way down from Atlanta did not have air conditioning. Now they feel so bad for these little creatures who are not receiving the proper amount of ventilation. Solution: hold the entire hamster cage outside of the window as they are driving 70mph down the interstate. My theory: they died of either shock...or over inflated lungs. Poor poor little creatures.
Ok, that is the end of my extremely long story. Hope you're having a great summer. Happy Wednesday!
