The Life of Forrest Gump

I would like to tell you about my day yesterday. It was an interesting day...and by interesting day, I mean I am glad it was yesterday and already done. It was the Mid-summer SOAR Leader Retreat. I was responsible for planning and organizing this whole shin dig. The only parameters I was given was to have an "educational component" in the morning then funness in the afternoon. So, I chose beautiful Hilton Head. We were to go to a pottery painting studio for everyone to paint a tile after they reflected on how they had grown as a person and as a leader- they then had to artistically express that progression on their tile then present it to the group (they will get them back at the end of the summer banquet presented as one huge tile showing how everyone has been tied together during the summer, but then tell how it is now time to take their experiences and what they have learned to keep growing and take their new knowledge into their respective futures- their tiles will then be handed back to them). We were scheduled to eat at a burger-ish place called One Hot Mama's and then they were given 4 options for the afternoon, including the beach, outlet mall, movies, and mini golf. I had everything nicely planned and organized....I will now tell you how it really went. I had to drive a 12 passenger van (Erin drove the other). If you remember who I am, you remember I am not a good driver. Also, do not think I did not tell all the people in my van to buckle up because most highway accidents that occur every year happen in 12-passenger vans. I had printed out a whole book of mapquest directions for Erin and I, but I told her I could lead from Statesboro to The Art Cafe (pottery place) in Hilton Head because I had Kevin (the GPS). Well, it is a possibility that Erin thought I was under the influence yesterday morning, as I was swerving all over the lanes. Huge vans are hard to maneuver...especially when you are trying to bond with 1/2 the orientation team by singing Spice Girls' Do You Wannna Be My Lover at the top of your lungs. One example, I swerved across 2 lanes on the interstate to get off at one of the exits...I thought Kevin was telling me I still had a while to go. The Art Cafe is located at 1 North Forest Beach Dr. Kevin took us to 1 North Forest Dr. Those two streets are not the same. It was 15 minutes away from our location...so we entered the island on the wrong side. We put the correct address in Kevin, and I felt pretty ok about only getting there 10 minutes late. But Kevin was trying to take us down roads that did not exist...and the Joan look alike (that was for you, cousin) could not have gone down dirt paths through the woods. There was a lot of turning around and backing up. This does not pair well with 20 college students and a supervisor. We finally made it to The Art Cafe...30 minutes late. I had a slight break down in the van after I pushed everyone out. The rest of the day went..ok. We ate at One Hot Mama's. There was a waitress there who was a SOAR Leader in 1995, which was a great experience for our team, showing them that they can be whatever they want to be after they graduate b/c of their experience with SOAR. We then headed to the beach. A few people wanted to go putt putt instead, so I took them to mini golf, dropped them off and proceeded to head back to the beach. As I am climbing out of the van and walking toward the direction of surf and sand, i receive a voicemail (my great phone decided to not actually ring). I check the voicemail. It was left by one of the SOAR Leaders I had just dropped off. She sounded frantic...and out of breath. "Josh! (panting) You are not answering your phone. They only accept (panting) cash. I just literally chased you down the road. I was running next to the van and you did NOT stop.(panting) JOSH, you did not stop. Ok, so ya know, when you get this you can call me back. bye (panting)" It was a pretty great voicemail. I stayed at the beach the whole time while half the group went to the outlet mall. I saw a real live starfish and live sand dollars. That was my beach excitement. Skip to us meeting the other van of peeps at the outlet mall so we can head back home. Kevin, once again, tells me the most difficult way possible to get to the outlet mall. He asks if I want to take the toll road to the mall. I press no so I will not have to hit up the students for $1.25. Well, as we are coming onto the toll bridge, I start to get angry with kevin for not doing what I say. So out loud I say to the students "Why did Kevin do this. (I repeat back the question he asked me) 'Do you want to avoid the toll roads?' I said NO......ohhhhhhh...." So after all of the SOAR Leaders stopped laughing at me for being a huge dumbass....they then took up a church offering of $1.25. Afterwards, Kevin makes me cut across a highway of high speed traffic AFTER we pass the mall. Well, I decide to cut across, which causes all of the people in the van to start screaming uncontrollably, as I narrowly missed being sideswiped by an oncoming van (not like the Joan impostor we were in...I mean a mini-van). Anywho, we get the rest of the group and I tell Erin she can lead the way back to good ole Statesboro. On the way back, we listen to Erin's mix cd from her freshmen year of college. Think 2001ish hardcore rap music. It was interesting. That was the end of the trip. All in all i think they all had a good day...it, however, could have gone smoother.