Posted by Josh | Posted on 8.18.2010
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Conversation with a student in my class:
Liza Lee: I just wanted to introduce myself, I’m Liza Lee
Me: Great to meet you, where are you from?
Liza Lee: Decatur, did you say you were from South Carolina?
Me: No, I just want to grad school there.
Liza Lee: Oh, my cousin went to grad school there but now he works at another school as the Dean of Students or something. He plans events for students.
Me: Really? What is his name?
Liza Lee: Josh McKenzie
Ladies and gentlemen, within a month's time I have worked my way up the ladder and am now the Dean of Students for Northwestern University (which was just named the #12 school in the country by 2011 US News and World Report [again]). haha!
Posted by Josh | Posted on 7.12.2010
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The first full week has been amazing/hectic/surreal all rolled into one! First I'll talk about my humble abode, located smack dab in Wrigleyville. Now, I have decided it is fate I live here, because right around the corner of my house is a bar called The Houndstooth- Alabama inspired! What are the chances?! It is a cool little bar with houndstooth wallpaper, framed pictures and articles about the University of Alabama, three different styled rooms, and enough people packed in on a weekend night to count as the entire population of the great Yellow Hammer state.
My first weekend was filled with touristy things with the fam (I can refer to them as touristy things because, again, I am a native). The Cubs game at the historic Wrigley Field, a mere 5-10 minute walk from my house, was awesome, a trip to the Northwestern campus, perusing through the overly crowded Taste of Chicago and sight seeing that had our dogs a barkin'.
On a side note, there is no Wal-mart or Kroger around. So where did I go grocery shopping you ask? A place called Jewel Osco, which is a typical grocery store. But can I tell you a regular little container of ice cream was $6.99! I'm STILL outraged at my frozen dairy delight.
I have become a real city person by riding the "L" (I have been told to stop calling it the train because that is something totally different. So I ride the "L") everywhere. In my 10 days here, I have used my car once! I am a short 5 minute stroll to the "L" stop and it is a 25ish minute ride to Evanston- home of prestigious Northwestern University. NU is an amazing campus- located right on the lake (Lake Michigan, I believe). AND, did you know that NU's peer institutions are Duke, Brown, Yale, NYU....so we have some smart lil nuggets here!
This past weekend I went on a kayaking tour of Chicago on the Chicago River. I would not advise touching the water, unless you are wanting to contract diseases, but nonetheless, it was an awesome way to see downtown Chicago from a different perspective.
Now that you have a little tid bit of an update, you can eagerly anticipate a post or two about some muy delicioso restaurants around town and some other cool facts.
One more thing, I randomly passed the movie set for Transformers 3 yesterday in downtown Chicago. How crazy is that!?
Posted by Josh | Posted on 6.07.2010
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I had fried pickles for the first time ever. It’s like a sliced pickle, and it was fried. It was crunchy but juicy. Eating fried pickles was a life-changing experience. -Snooki (while in Savannah, GA)
I don’t go tanning tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning–but I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning–because he’s pale and he’d probably want to be tan. -Snooki (while having self-tanner applied to her at home)
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Northwestern is a highly selective institution located in Evanston, IL...which is the north side of Chicago. I have already found a house I will be moving into the first of July, located in Wrigleyville, near Wrigley Field.
Now people have told me about the cold weather and cold hearted people and how I will adapt. To that I say, NO, I will be bringing a taste of the south up to good ole Chi-town! Polos, seersucker, the use of y'all, etc etc will all be packed nicely away for my travels north. I have a few months until the weather starts dipping below the 60degree line...so I have until then to beef up my winter clothing.
Wish me luck on being a real live adult. It should be an interesting journey, that you will definitely be included on....
Posted by Josh | Posted on 5.31.2010
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One month after the start of school, I am taking a quiet, relaxing stroll outside of the lavish residence hall. As I am soaking in the warmness of the Carolinian sun, listening to the birds sing their songs, and watching the squirrels play a game of jacks, I look up to admire the tall, luminous, cheerful residence hall structure. It is at this point I notice something out of the ordinary, something that seems to break the day that effervescenced with joy: George was standing outside of his dorm room (definitely not located on the first floor, mind you) attempting to build a porch. Now I am no engineer, but I was not impressed. He had even managed to bring out a school spirited bag chair and some PVC piping...which I assume were to aid in his construction of a safe and sturdy porch.
I quickly re-entered the magnificent residence hall structure, adorned with historically intricate and detailed architecture, circa 1971. I entered the elevator, with another passing breath as I noticed phallus symbols were not sharpee-d on that particular elevator at that particular time, to make my way to the floor. As the doors open sesame, I step foot onto the white tiled floor with the room directly ahead, in my line of vision. The door is open wide...which must have been opened so they could invite guests for a delightful afternoon tea on the porch, no doubt.
My tightly balled fist knocks on the open door. A little nugget of a boy pops his head from behind another portion of the room, sees me, has the "I just made a poopy in my pants" look, and quickly stammers "I told him not to do it!" I simply step into the door frame and ask the lil nugget if he could tell George to come back inside for a quick minute. He is happy to oblige. He squeaks out to George to come inside. George turns around and sees me through the mildly film-covered window and a look of terror passes over his eyes. It is obvious to me that the students do not know me at all...as terror and fear are the first feelings that pass over them when they see me- instead of the usual look of glee. However, I'm not complaining. It is natural to be intimidated by my demeanor and permanently scowl-adorned face.
Back to George, I ask him to come back inside. Now mind you these are no ordinary windows that he had to climb out. These are long windows that open from the top, and probably stop at my chest (I am 6'2''...if you don't know that, then you don't know me. And again, quit creeping on my blog ya creep-o)...so he had to get all monkey-like to manage his way in and out of his luxurious dorm room. As he was scurrying back into the room, I quickly had a passing fear that he would trip-up climbing over the window and plant face-first onto the tiled floor. Fortunately that did not happen...because then I would have had to clean-up blood and that would have taken even more time away from my leisurely strolling period. As his feet hit the room floor and he stands erect, I ask him, " George, what were you doing up there?"
"Building a porch," he doofily responds.
"George, you were building a porch," I ask. "Is this a good idea, George."
He spends a hot minute rolling his possible answer through his head, as I see the wheels spinning at slow-speed pace. "No," is what he finally decides to answer with.
"You're right, George," I reply. "You're right, it isn't a good idea. Why do you think it isn't a good idea, George?"
"Because, ummm...because we are high up," he says with a questioning tone.
"You're right, George. You are standing outside of your window that is not on the ground floor and you are building a porch. You could have fallen off and gotten hurt...and I do not want to make that kind of call to your parents. George, have you heard of the breaking the plane policy?"
He quickly responds with "No," as if he will be let off the hook with this answer.
"Well, George, it was included in the contract you signed at the beginning of the year. It says that nothing is to be thrown out of your room window. George, that includes bodies. George, that includes your body."
"Well, what's gonna happen?" he interrupts.
"George, I am glad you have noticed this wasn't the best decision to make a few weeks into school. I will give you five minutes to bring all of those materials back into the room..." He quickly spins around to leap out the window to retrieve his newly acquired porch furniture. "Hold up, George. George, if I ever see you outside of your window again, I will ensure that you are immediately removed from campus housing and given the opportunity to live in your own apartment with a real porch, ok? Thank you for the understanding, George. Y'all have a good evening."
A month later, during a phone conversation with a parent of George, it is told to me that he was simply trying to make his own space due to some roommate problems he was having.....
Posted by Josh | Posted on 5.28.2010
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Miley hasn't ruled out further studies all together, and has thought about copying her sister by going to North Dakota State University (NDSU).
She said: "My sister went to NDSU in Nashville, so I'd probably want to be there with all my friends." (article)
- Out loud, say N-D-S-U
- Out loud, say M-T-S-U
- Repeat until you realize the mistake the media made in what would have been MTSU's biggest PR opportunity since Al Gore visited campus back in the early 2000s.
Even the popular entertainment site, Perez Hilton, stated NDSU. If we cannot count on Perez for the most credible and accurate information, who can we trust? Also, as stated by a friend on Twitter:
RT @mallorygrooms Dear Miley: We appreciate that you wanna go to MTSU, but we are in the Boro, not Nashville. http://tl.gd/1g0r8q
NDSU-Nashville: Be Loud! Be Proud! Be Blue!
(at least one source got it right)
Posted by Josh | Posted on 5.27.2010
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I was talking with a friend the other day and the topic of Southern culture was brought up...and it got me thinking. What is the true definition of the South and a Southerner? Is it tradition; a friendly smile; a slow drawl; a polo on the chest tucked into seersucker rooted by Sperry's? Is it tradition; the amount of sugar in a cold glass of iced tea; the overuse of conjugated words, an appreciation for culture and the past? The Mason-Dixon Line geographically draws a line of where the North ends and the South begins...but it isn't about location or the use of a koozie; it is a mindset, a way of life...it is how you were born and raised. Let's be honest, Maryland, those Virginias and Florida are under the MDL...and that doesn't mean a thing, y'all.
On to a couple of Quotes...
Well, they're Southern people, and if they know you are working at home they think nothing of walking right in for coffee. But they wouldn't dream of interrupting you at golf.
- Harper Lee
Yes, sir. I'm a real Southern boy. I got a red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer.
-Billy Carter
She grew up on a side of the road
Where the church bells ring and strong love grows
She grew up good
She grew up slow
Like American honey
-Lady Antebellum, "American Honey"
All I can say is that there's a sweetness here, a Southern sweetness, that makes sweet music. . . . If I had to tell somebody who had never been to the South, who had never heard of soul music, what it was, I'd just have to tell him that it's music from the heart, from the pulse, from the innermost feeling. That's my soul; that's how I sing. And that's the South.
-Al Green
Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes...Northerners.
-Roy Blount
- John Egerton, from "Southern Food, at Home, on the Road, in History"
In the South, the breeze blows softer...neighbors are friendlier, nosier, and more talkative. (By contrast with the Yankee, the Southerner never uses one word when ten or twenty will do)...This is a different place. Our way of thinking is different, as are our ways of seeing, laughing, singing, eating, meeting and parting. Our walk is different, as the old song goes, our talk and our names. Nothing about us is quite the same as in the country to the north and west. What we carry in our memories is different too, and that may explain everything else.
-Charles Kuralt in "Southerners: Portrait of a People"
The South--where roots, place, family, and tradition are the essence of identity.
-Social historian Carl N. Degler
Even if they've moved away, most people who grew up in the South still consider themselves Southern.
-Lillian Hellman
Growing up Southern is a privilege, really. It's more than where you're born, it's an idea and state of mind that seems imparted at birth. It's more than loving fried chicken, sweet tea, football, and country music. it's being hospitable, devoted to front porches, magnolias, moon pies and coca-cola... and each other. We don't become Southern - we're born that way.
-Anonymous
Things a True Southerner Knows
A Midwesterner's Thoughts on the South (including rules, definitions and thoughts)
Posted by Josh | Posted on 5.13.2010
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As you may know (if you don't, then you don't know me. In that case, why are you being a creeper and reading my blog?), I have a special appreciation for the bow-tie. It is classic; it is timeless; it says "Hey! Look at me, I am dressed up but you can tell I am fun because I am wearing a bow-tie." I have only recently picked up this appreciation during the past several years...before I was plagued with the thought that only those men who I considered "female hygiene products" wore bow-ties. Oh, how wrong I was. Yes, it may be more popular in the South, but everyone should adopt our ultra cool ways and learn how to tie that little piece of timeless-ness around your neck.
THIS is how I learned to tie a bow-tie. I AM a Millennial, aren't I?
An article titled "Resurrection of the Bow Tie" that was sent by a friend today (and inspired my bow-tie tribute post)...and it is in the New York Times...so you know it is legit.
Finally, my Student Affairs and College Administration aspirations have furthered simply because of my bow-tie affection. HERE is an article from The Chronicle talking about college presidents who wear bow ties...and another ONE.
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5. Tsunami
Posted by Josh | Posted on 5.03.2010
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"When I was a kid, the worst of all days was the last day of summer vacation, and we were in the school yard playing baseball, and the sun was down and it was getting dark. But I did not want it to get dark. I did not want the game to end. It was too good, too much fun.I wanted it to stay light forever, so we could keep playing forever, so the game would go on and on. That's how I feel now. Come on, come on. Let's play one more inning. One more time at bat. One more pitch. Just one. Stick around, guys. We can't break up this team. It's too much fun. But the sun always went down. And now it's almost dark again."
- Mike Royko on the death of the Daily News in 1978
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Today I received a reply email from a resident after I communicated that the floor would be charged for excessive damages to the floor. Below is the email in its entirety:
I would like to remind you that your email to me, a University employee, is automatically kept on record and is subject to review from the University. In future communication to any person(s), not just an employee, I would simply suggest a more professional email that contains well structured sentences and ideas. You are pursuing higher education and are able to articulate something more than the language included in your previous email. I would also suggest the use of spell check and ensure that homonyms are not incorrectly used in future communication. Please remember that my door is always open if you have further concerns.
Best of luck with your final exams and your summer travels,
Josh
Posted by Josh | Posted on 4.27.2010
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Posted by Josh | Posted on 1.21.2010
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As you know, I am the hall director for a 480-bed freshman residence hall. I take great pride in the fact that my building, consisting of a 70% male population, consistently wins the award for most alcohol and policy violations. We have become total BFF with the university's judicial office. Anywho, my latest story can be found below:
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